The Battle For Everything
by santeria
Summary: Summer battles an eating disorder and Kirsten fights cancer, while Taylor's getting barraged by letters from Henri Michele and Julie's trying to figure out how to run New Match by herself.
1. Chapter 1

Seth groans again, and Summer shoots him a glare.

"Why are we watching this again?" His voice takes on a high-pitched whiny tone.

The couple is sitting in the Cohen's living room, watching Thank You For Smoking.

"Because, Cohen, it's a informative satire about the tobacco industry, which kills millions of people a year and doesn't do any good for the environment."

"What, exactly, does smoking have to do with the environment?"

"The smoke doesn't do any good for the ozone layer, which is already disappearing because of all the pollution from cars."

Seth rolls his eyes and picks up a handful of popcorn from the bowl that sits between them on the couch. Summer considers asking him why he doesn't like the movie, but then he'd prattle on forever and she wouldn't be able to hear what the characters are saying.

"Why am I the only one eating this? Here, Summer, have some popcorn."

He waves the bowl and the buttery, salty smell wafts over. God, it smells good...but Summer can't allow herself to have any. She doesn't want to pay for it later. So she pushes the bowl away and pretends to be pissed off at Seth.

"Cohen! _Sshhhh!_"

Just then they hear the front door open, and Kirsten's voice calling out, "Hello? I need help with the groceries!"

"Oh, thank Moses." Seth shoots up from the couch and past his mother, who is by now setting a couple paper grocery bags down on the counter. She stares after him, surprised at his sudden ardor for work.

Summer goes back to watching her movie, but is interrupted once again by Kirsten. _Why can't I watch a movie uninterrupted?_

"Summer, when Seth comes back, will you please tell him I went to the bathroom and will be right back to help him bring everything in?"

From the TV screen, Nick Naylor says: _Well, that's one theory._

Summer says "Sure" and continues watching. Kirsten disappears, then there is the sound of rustling paper bags as Seth carries them in.

"Hey, where's Mom? I am NOT carrying all these in by myself."

"She's in the bathroom. Said she'll be back to help you soon." Summer rewinds the movie so can watch the part she'd missed during Seth's talking.

"Fine." Seth goes to bring in more bags. Silence ensues.

From the TV screen, Nick Naylor says: _You're too young to understand._

x x x x x x x x x x

She hurries to the bathroom, quietly shutting the door behind her and locking it. She leans against the door, brushing her blonde hair out of her face and crossing her arms and leaning over.

Her lower abdomen hurts; so does her back. Then there's the bleeding--that's what really tipped her off. She's not supposed to start her 'time of the month' until two weeks later. Yet, here she is.

She knows what's wrong. How can she not, after watching her mother suffer and die from it? Still, she hasn't told anyone yet. Doesn't want to worry them. Speaking of telling people, shouldn't the doctor have called with her test results by now?

She takes a little bottle of Tylenol out of her purse and pops two in her mouth. It's not much, but it's the best she can do for now.

She unlocks the door and turns out the lights and walks back to the kitchen. She sees Seth, searching through the grocery bags for something to eat. He draws his arm out of one of the bags, his hand clutching a pudding cup. The TV is silent, and Summer is gone.

"Where'd Summer go?"

"I dunno, she got a call from Taylor."

Kirsten begins taking the food out of the bags, folding each bag neatly after she's emptied it.

She has to start dinner. Ryan and Sandy will both be home from work soon.

While Seth spoons pudding into his mouth, his cell phone rings. Fumbling, he takes it out and looks at the little screen.

"It's Ryan."

He begins to wander off as he flips open the cell phone, his pudding cup still held in his other hand. "Hey, man..." Then he's disappeared around the corner, and Kirsten is left alone. Which is probably for the best, because it's not long after that her own cell phone rings. It's the doctor's office, telling her they would like her to come in as soon as possible. So Kirsten makes an appointment for tomorrow, and after hanging up she continues to prepare dinner, trying to act normal, but it's all she can do to keep from crying.

Ryan appears briefly before going to the poolhouse (he claims he needs to do homework). A few minutes later, Sandy comes home. Kirsten fakes a smile when she sees him-- she's lived in Newport all her life, so she's an expert at faking smiles-- and he kisses her before asking how her day was.

She says, "Fine."

x x x x x x x x x x

Taylor stares at the letter clutched in her hand. She sits on her bed and just stares at it. The sound of footsteps clunking up the stairs makes her look up just in time to see Summer open the door.

"What? What's wrong?" Summer looks near panic.

Taylor holds up the letter in response. Summer shrieks, "You almost gave me a coronary for THAT?"

"Summer! It's from Henri-Michele!" She sounds worried and kind of scared.

"He knows your address?"

"Yeah. Oh, I can't open it, Henri-Michele has this way with words that'll have me jumping on the next flight to Paris."

Summer sits on the bed next to Taylor. "Then don't open it."

"I can't just not open it. Ooooh, I have an idea. You read it to me."

"I can't read French."

"Come on, Summer, just try it."

Taylor shoves the letter at Summer, who reluctantly takes it and rips it open.

"It says..._Mess Pech-ess shuree_-"

Taylor snaps the letter from Summer's hand. "You're not reading it right. It's '_Mes Peches chéries_.' It's nasal."

"Fine. So what's it say?"

Taylor begins reading: "_Je vous ai manqué si beaucoup. Même l'odeur douce de fleurs dans l'air chaud me rappelle de vous et--"_

"Okay, can you tell me the, like, the summary of what he's saying? In English, please."

Taylor scans the rest of the letter. "He's basically saying that he misses me, and that everything reminds him of me. Look, it says, 'Even the sweet scent of flowers in the air makes me think of you, and the soft rushing of the Seine is not nearly as beautiful as your voice was to me.'" She paused, then added, "The Seine's a river."

"I wish Cohen would compliment me like that."

"I'm sure he does, just not in such poetic words, with such imagery, and--"

"Okay, okay, I get it. Look, Henri may sound all sweet and nice, but he's not here with you. Ryan is, and he really cares about you."

Taylor sighs, then smiles. "I know. You're right. Hey, want to go out for dinner? I'm starving."

Summer looks right into Taylor's bright, excited eyes, and she fibs.

"I already ate at the Cohen's house."


	2. Chapter 2

Julie realizes that she has no idea how she's supposed to do this as she stares at the pile of folders on her desk. _This is harder than I thought_. Kirsten was always the one that made the actual matches, and now Julie is stuck with trying to figure out who should date who, while using only personal profiles that the clients provided.

She flips aimlessly through some of the papers in one of the folder. How is she supposed to find these people their soulmates when she herself can hardly commit to one man at a time? Okay, so maybe she doesn't need to find them their soulmates, but even figuring out who Linda Briggs would have fun with on a date is hard.

Hell, running a legitimate business is hard.

She really needs Kirsten, because Kirsten knows how to read a person and look at her personality and likes and dislikes then find someone who will, as she puts it, "complement the other person." Julie has no idea how Kirsten does this, and she wishes she could call Kirsten, but she can't because she's already called her way too many times today.

Why did Kirsten have to get sick NOW? she wonders as she stares out a window while twirling a pen in her hand. She immediately reprimands herself, because it's not Kirsten's fault that she got sick, and for all Julie knows it could be serious. Actually, it would have to be serious because Julie cannot recall a time when Kirsten was ill enough to miss work.

Julie's been sitting in the New Match office for two hours, and so far all she's done is answer phone calls. She reads a few more files then orders pizza because her stomach has been complaining for past ten minutes. She eats two slices. She knows she'll have to work it off later, but that's okay with her, because she likes her yogalates class. She spins her chair lazily around a few times then changes her hairstyle a few times. She crinkles unneeded papers into balls and tries to throw them into the trash can across the room from where she sits at her desk. She sings a song she remembers from the '80s, humming the parts she doesn't know and using her empty coffee cup as a microphone. She chews gum and tries to blow bubbles, but one explodes in her face so she has to spend almost half an hour peeling as much gum as she can from her hair.

Aside from the phone calls, she gets very little work done.

She decides to leave early, so she stacks the folders and places them gently into her briefcase.

_I'll work on them later._

x x x x x x x x x x

Summer pokes at the food on her plate. Seth, sitting across from her, is shoveling down his own food so fast that Summer's amazed that he doesn't choke. She takes a few bites, then uses her fork to kind of cut up her food so it'll look eaten. Seth is not fooled.

"Summer, if you're not hungry then just tell me. You don't have to sit there and pretend to eat for me."

She's not sure how exactly he managed to make this about him, but she also realizes that it's a good excuse.

So she says, "You're paying, though. I can't have you buy it for me then not eat it."

Seth stares. "Do you really think that it was that expensive? Seriously, Summer, it's the diner. Just eat what you can."

She pushes her plate away. What she really wants to do is pig out and eat a plateful of everything on the menu, but doing that would ruin all her efforts to get thin.

Not that Summer is by any means fat. She just thinks she should lose some weight. She remembers how she envied Marissa, who could eat anything but still remain stick thin. Nowadays, she envies Taylor and Kirsten, neither of whom seem to worry about dieting yet both of them are lean and perfect and beautiful. This irks Summer to no end. She wants to be like that too.

She even envies Seth sometimes. He practically inhales all his food, yet somehow remains a beanpole. She wonders if it's weird to be jealous of your boyfriend's skinniness.

Seth finishes eating, and the two leave and walk along the pier, holding hands as the sun sets. It's just like in a movie...except in a movie, the girlfriend would be played by a tall, beautiful, skinny girl, not a short, chubby one.

Suddenly, Seth leans over and kisses her. Summer kisses back, surprised, and when he pulls away she asks, "What was that for?"

"No reason."

Seth's short answer is unusual. Normally, he would give her a paragraph-long explanation or at least would complain about something. Tonight, he's not being annoyingly talkative and hasn't whined about anything. It unnerves Summer, but instead of asking him why she chooses to lean her head against his shoulder and enjoy the silence.

x x x x x x x x x x

Is it just her, or does the nurse look really sad as she tells Kirsten that the doctor will be right in? Is it just her, or does the room seem cold and gloomy?

She sits down, gripping her purse hard enough to turn her knuckles white, and waits.

The doctor comes in, and over the course of the next twenty minutes, Kirsten is told that she has stage 2 ovarian cancer, and is told her treatment options. She already knows what all the stages of the cancer are, and stage 2 means that the cancer is starting to spread.

Her mother made it to stage 4, which is when the doctors tell you, "There's nothing else we can do." Stage 4 means certain death.

She leaves the doctor's office and sits in her car and wonders how to tell her family. She looks at her cell phone and see that she has a missed call-- Julie. She doesn't call back.

That night, Kirsten finds Sandy in his study and figures that she might as well tell him now.

The boys are out with their respective girlfriends, and Sandy can help her break the news to them when they get home.

Sandy smiles when he sees her, but his smile quickly fades when he sees the look on her face. She sits across from him, as if she was one of his legal clients instead of his wife, and smooths her skirt.

"Sandy, we need to talk..." Her voice is shaky and she has to take a deep breath.

"What's wrong?" Sandy's voice is full of concern. Kirsten bites her lip, then continues.

"I'm sick, Sandy. I went to the doctor's and had some tests done and today...the test results...I have cancer." There. She's said it. Sandy looks absolutely gobsmacked, and for once he doesn't have a sarcastic reply.

"Ovarian cancer," clarifies Kirsten. "I'm starting treatment on Wednesday."

The look in Sandy's eyes is heartbreaking, so Kirsten looks away and stares at the papers scattered on his desk. Sandy gently turns her face toward him and kisses her on the forehead. She reacts automatically, standing up so that they're embracing, her head leaning on his shoulder.

He says, "I'm sorry, honey. We'll get through it together."


	3. Chapter 3

Taylor lies flat on her bed, staring at another unopened letter. She wishes Summer were here.

She doesn't dare open the letter. After she'd read the last one, she'd dreamt about Henri-Michele for a week. Ryan had noticed that she was acting weird, and she was sure that reading this letter wouldn't help matters.

Speaking of Ryan, where was he? Weren't they supposed to go out to the diner today? _Maybe he's mad at me for something_. She stands and goes over to the trashcan and drops the letter in, then picks up the phone to call Ryan.

He doesn't answer. She sighs and sits back down on the bed. Five minutes later, she can't stand to wait anymore, so she calls him again._ If he doesn't answer this time, I'm going over to his house. _This time, Ryan picks up. He doesn't even get a chance to say hi before Taylor demandingly questions where he is. He says, "Home."

"Why? We were supposed to go out, remember?"

"Yeah. Sorry, something came up. I gotta go." He sounds tired and slightly pissed off.

"Ryan-" But he's already hung up. Fine! If he wants to be that way, fine! She grabs the letter from the trashcan and rips it open, reads it voraciously. She feels better after reading it; Henri-Michele was always good at making her feel better when she's down.

It's Ryan's fault anyway.

Still, now she's feels guilty and wants to know why he was so gruff earlier. She takes her purse and runs out to her car. She's going to the Cohen's house.

x x x x x x x x x x

Seth leans on Summer's shoulder, muttering, "What do we do now? What if it gets worse?" Summer doesn't know what to say; she's still kind of in shock herself, because Seth has just told her that the Kirsten has cancer, which is news she never expected to hear so now she's at a complete loss for words. So she lets her boyfriend lean on her and wordlessly pats his shoulder in a way that's supposed to be comforting but probably isn't.

"Summer?"

"Yeah?"

"Your shoulder's really bony. It's kind of hurting my head."

Summer rolls her eyes and pushes Seth off. "Cohen!"

"What? How am I supposed to appropriately agonize over what to do about my mother when your shoulder's piercing through my skull? I didn't remember your shoulder being so sharp."

"Whatev." Summer bends down and picks Pancakes up off the floor, cuddling the bunny to her chest and petting his ears. _At least Pancakes likes me. _Seth sits down on the floor and leans against the wall. "Hmmm...You know what we need to do?" He says, and his tone of voice worries Summer, because it's the I've-got-a-plan tone.

"What?"

"We need to make her feel better!"

"That's _it_? That's your plan?"

"No, not exactly. I mean, she's scared and worried and all that, because she knows what treatment is like, right? So what we need to do-" Seth jumps up and starts pacing, his hands gesticulating wildly as he speaks- "is give her one day where she can completely relax and forget about the cancer, y'know? Like, we take her shopping, out to eat, get her a massage, the works. She won't have to lift a finger. And we'll have to do it before chemo starts, because then she'll be really tired all the time and'll start throwing up, which I don't think I'll be able to deal with because puke kind of weirds me out, but the point is, we need to do it tomorrow."

"When does she start treatment?"

"The day after tomorrow."

"Oh. Hey, Taylor and I can do the whole shopping part of it, unless you wanna help your mom pick out clothes."

Seth shakes his head. "It's probably best if you handle that."

"'Kay. Let's go tell Atwood and Taylor." Summer puts Pancakes back in his cage, feeding him a lettuce leaf before she and Seth leave.

x x x x x x x x x x

Julie watches Kaitlin skating away with the Ward twins. She wonders when her daughter became so punk, and what Jimmy would think if he saw Kaitlin now. Kaitlin, with her long dark hair and her t-shirts with band names splashed across the front. Kaitlin, with her fake IDs (yes, Julie knows about them- she'll never forget when Kaitlin saw her in the club dancing with some random guy) and her crazy friends. Julie knows that her daughter smokes pot(it's kind of hard to miss the smell), but allows the girl a little leeway, because Julie herself smoked a lot of pot when she was a teenager. Besides, it's only normal for teens to experiment with drugs. As long as Kaitlin doesn't get into it as deep as Marissa did.

The redhead sighs and takes a sip from the cup of coffee in her hand. She has work to do. She drains the rest of the semi-cold coffee and goes upstairs to get dressed.

At the NewMatch office, Julie is not surprised to see that Kirsten isn't there. Julie makes a mental note to visit her friend later today to see if she's feeling any better and could possibly come back to work soon.

Julie's still behind in her work, so she sits at her desk and starts to flip through the folders on her desk. By lunchtime, she is thoroughly bored, so she decides to visit Kirsten. She packs the folders and grabs a cup of coffee on her way out.

When she gets to the Cohen's driveway, she is surprised to see that there are already two other cars there: Summer's and Taylor's. She can't park in the driveway because there's no space, so she parks by the curbside and gets out, stumbling as her heel hits the grass. She rights herself then goes up to the house.

Sandy answers the door, much to Julie's surprise. _Shouldn't he be at work? _This, along with the fact that everyone else is at the Cohen's, makes alarm bells go off in her head. _What's going on?_ Inside, Kirsten is lounging on the couch, looking paler and thinner than usual, with dark circles under her bloodshot eyes. _Has she been crying? _

"Kiki!" Kirsten winces slightly at the nickname, but stands to receive Julie's embrace. "How are you? What's going on? I saw the girls' cars outside, and Sandy's home instead of at work, so what's happening?"

Sandy excuses himself and wanders out of sight, and Kirsten settles back down on the sofa. Julie sits next to her, not taking her eyes off the blonde. Kirsten says, "How's NewMatch working?"

Julie is slightly thrown by the fact that Kirsten answered her questions with another question, but she quickly recovers and says, "Oh, fine, fine. Business is great. When'll you be back?"

"I don't think I'll be able to go back."

"What? Why?" Julie is utterly bewildered. Something is going on here that she doesn't know about, and it's driving her nuts.

"There's really no easy way to say this. Julie...I have cancer, I start treatment soon, there's no way I'm going to be able to work."

Julie stares._ I misheard that, right?_ "I'm sorry. Say that again."

Kirsten sighs. "I have cancer."

_Shit._ Just then, the back door opens and Seth, Ryan, Summer, and Taylor all parade loudly in, looking rather proud of themselves. Sandy rushes in. "What's all that noise?" He sees the kids and says simply, "Oh."

Seth steps forward, grinning widely. "Mother, we have a surprise for you..."


	4. Chapter 4

"Look at this one! It'd look so pretty on you!" Taylor squeals, holding up a beautiful ivory-colored dress for Kirsten to look at. Kirsten smiles at the girl and agrees that it is very nice, but she thinks they have enough purchases for today. She emphasizes her point by gesturing to the cart filled with dresses and shoes and sweaters, and even some fancy hats, because Kirsten's going to need something to cover her head if her hair starts falling because of the chemo. Taylor resigns herself to the fact that they should stop, and Summer points out that they need to leave anyway if their going to get to the spa on time. Summer pushes the cart, and when Kirsten offers to help, Summer insists that she can handle it by herself. Kirsten's not so sure about that but allows the girl to continue.

After everything is rung up, the three survey the pile of bags and wonder aloud how they're going to get it all to the car. The problem is solved when a couple of employees offer to help them. Taylor and Summer still refuse to let Kirsten carry anything. Kirsten walks slightly behind them. She's starting to feel very tired and is getting a headache, but doesn't say anything, because she doesn't want to freak the girls out or make them worry.

When they arrive at the spa, Kirsten is the only one to get out. The girls say that they have to go get Sandy, Seth, and Ryan and drive off. A masseuse is waiting for Kirsten and leads her into a white room with a wall made out of windows that allow for a perfect view of the beach. Soothing music fills the air, and Kirsten fights the urge to fall asleep right then and there.

The ensuing massage is the most refreshing one that Kirsten can remember ever getting. It is followed promptly by a facial and manicure/pedicure. The employees work quickly, which is especially good because Sandy and the boys are taking her out for dinner tonight.

As she watches the woman file her nails, Kirsten can't help but wonder what tomorrow will be like. Chemo. She thinks about what her mother went through. The throwing up and the lethargy and the hair loss and extreme weight loss. Kirsten sighs, and the woman doing her nails glances up questioningly at her. Kirsten forces a smile, and tells herself to relax, because this may be the last time in a long time that she'll get to do so.

The girls arrive just in time, with Sandy and the boys in tow. The car has been emptied of all shopping bags, except for one. The solitary bag contains a formal blue dress and a pair of high heels; both the dress and the shoes were bought earlier that day. Taylor and Summer shuttle Kirsten off to the bathroom so she can change, and as soon as Kirsten steps out of the stall, wearing the dress and heels, Taylor whips a hairbrush out of her purse and gets to work. By the time they are done, Kirsten's blonde hair has been teased into a pretty yet simple updo. She smiles sadly at her reflection in the mirror, wondering how much longer she'll have her hair, while the girls high-five and look proud of themselves.

The guys, waiting by the car, are all wearing tuxes, and Kirsten asks where, exactly, they're going that requires such formal wear. In reply, she receives only coy smiles from the guys and giggling from the girls.

When they reach the restaurant, Sandy parks and runs around the car so he can open the door for her and help her out. Taking his hand, Kirsten steps out of the car then looks up to see what restaurant they've taken her to. Il Fornaio.

The interior is rather high-class, but Kirsten knows how to act in these kinds of settings. Her family frequented these kind of places when she was a kid, so Kirsten knows the difference between a salad fork and pie fork. The rest of her family, on the other hand, doesn't, and Kirsten laughs more than a few times watching them struggle with the forks.

Somehow, the fork ordeal sticks out as the most memorable part of the evening.

x x x x x x x x x x

Julie sneezes into her orange juice, then loudly blows her sore nose. She hates being sick. Hates it even more so because she wanted to help with Kirsten's surprise last night, but couldn't because the last thing she needs is to make her already-sick best friend even sicker.

She tosses the now-contaminated orange juice into the sink and the tissue into the trash, then shuffles back upstairs to go back to sleep just as Taylor bounds happily down the stairs for breakfast. Once in her room, Julie has barely curled up in her bed when she hears the doorbell ring. The sound pierces her aching head, and she pulls the pillow over her ears to block the sound. This isn't completely effective, as she hears the bell ring a couple more times. _Make it go awaaaaay!!! _

The bell does stop ringing, and Julie drifts soundlessly off to sleep.

x x x x x x x x x x

Taylor flips through the morning paper while crunching on her buttered toast. She's in a very good mood, feeling very proud for having given Kirsten a wonderful night out. She shakes of anxiety when she remembers that Kirsten's chemo starts today, and preoccupies herself with wondering why Summer isn't up yet. She has just decided to go wake Summer when the doorbell rings. She ties her robe and puts down her toast. The bell rings twice more. _Maybe it's Ryan! _Taylor runs to the door and pulls it open, smiling broadly.

It is not Ryan.

"_Bonjour, mes Pêches_-"

Taylor does not think, just panics and slams the door in Henri-Michele's face. What is he doing here?! She breathes deeply and mutters to herself, "It's okay, Taylor, you can handle this, just open the door and talk to him." She cautiously opens the door again, and Henri-Michele is still standing there, looking marvelously unruffled by Taylor's freak out. He's holding a bouquet of expensive-looking flowers.

Taylor opens the door the rest of the way and welcomes him in.

"Henri-Michele...I don't know what to say..."

He hands her the flowers and kisses her on the forehead. "I've come to take my Peaches back."

"Why? I like it here, I have a boyfriend."

Henri-Michele's eyes cloud over with confusion for a moment. "_Un ami?_" Then the confusion is gone and a smile spreads accross his face. "It is alright, _Pêches_, I would not mind some competition." He looks up and takes in his surroundings. "This is a nice place, but how can you think clearly with so many objects cluttered around?" He waves his hand condescendingly at the expensive furniture, and it occurs to Taylor that Henri-Michele cannot stay here, because she can't have him insulting Summer by saying such things about the Roberts' place. Besides, he smells.

"Um, Henri-Michele? When was the last time you bathed?"

He snorts at the mention of bathing, and Taylor sighs. _This is going to be hard._

She wishes Summer were awake, because Summer would not allow a strange, smelly man to stay in her house. That's it! Taylor sets the flowers down on the kitchen counter. "Excuse me, I'll be right back."

Henri-Michele nods, and Taylor dashes up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She bursts into Summer's room.

"Summer, get up! I need your help!"

She flings back the bedcovers and pulls a still-asleep Summer off the bed. Summer hits the ground with a dull _thud!_ and jerks awake.

"What the hell?"

"Come on!" Taylor pulls Summer to a standing position and drags her downstairs to meet Henri-Michele.


	5. Chapter 5

Summer is so NOT in the mood for this. She already has a raging headache, but is too tired to fight Taylor off. So she is dragged down the stairs and shoved in front of a strange, but pretty handsome, guy who's dressed in dirty clothes that hang loosely on his frame. As Summer is pulled closer she also realizes that he stinks. _Hasn't this guy ever heard of a shower?_

When Taylor introduces the man as her ex-husband, Summer feels a mix of shock, disgust, and irritation. Did Taylor seriously sleep with this weird, smelly man? Henri-Michele seems totally unaware of Summer's instant dislike for him, as he holds out his hand and croons a "_Bonjour._" In spite of her disgust, Summer cannot help but feel that his voice is extremely sexy. Damn accentBut Taylor looks at Summer pleadingly, and Summer realizes that Taylor wants her to get rid of him. This is immensely unfair, Summer thinks, seeing as Taylor was the one who married then divorced him. So she mutters "Hi" then wanders rudely off to the kitchen, shooting Taylor a _You're on your own _sort of look as she goes.

She decides not to eat anything for breakfast except a banana. There. She has something in her stomach, and that should keep her from gorging during lunch. She feels instantly better, and suddenly realized that she hasn't tried on the clothes that she bought yesterday with Kirsten and Taylor. She'd just gotten a size small for all of them, because she knew they would fit. Now, she can't wait to see how they look on her.

Casting a glance at Taylor, she sees the other girl trying to guide Henri-Michele gently to the door, to no avail. For some unknown reason, this makes her feel even better, and she practically skips upstairs.

She happily pulls a shirt from the top of the pile of clothes that was dumped onto her closet floor last night. The shirt is light pink with tiny black dots, and black trim on the edges of the sleeves and collar. Summer pulls off her pajama top and slips the shirt over her head, then twirls to face the mirror, grinning widely...then stops and stares. She doesn't stare because she looks lovable and cute in the shirt. She stares because the pretty shirt is hanging loosely off her, looking like a cute-patterned blanket that she just threw over her torso. Not only that, but her chest looks astoundingly flat, because she hasn't yet put on her super-padded bra that makes it look as if she still has curves. To add to the horror, her collarbones are sticking way out, and her arms look like sticks.

And in spite of all this, Summer's eyes travel to her hips. They look surprisingly wide. Too wide. Her butt looks too big for the rest of her as well. Horrified, Summer cautiously drags her eyes up to study her face. She doesn't like what she sees. Like her hips and butt, her face is not thin. Her cheeks do not have that modelish, slightly sunken look that she craves.

Summer rips off the shirt, replaces her pajama top, and crawls into bed to cry.

x x x x x x x x x x

They have not even reached the house before Kirsten starts to feel sick. Chemo is different than she expected, and part of what she expected was more time before she starts to feel nauseous. Still, the nausea isn't overly threatening, so she resists the urge to scream at Sandy to _Pull the car over, dammit!_

She's also feeling increasingly tired. She wants to curl up in a ball and sleep and not wake up for ten years. Instead, she yawns and leans her head on the window, clutching her purse tightly. She closes her eyes and focuses on the memory of last night's dinner, then realizes that this is probably not the best train of thought, because food has the startling tendency to make nausea worse.

Seth and Ryan are waiting for her. They are attempting to play video games but are failing miserably, to distracted to concentrate on killing ninjas or whatever they do on those games. She manages to send them a grateful, (hopefully) encouraging smile before ambling upstairs to sleep.

She is woken by the violent need to puke. Kirsten hates puking, because it is the combination of everything that she was brought up to hate- it is dirty and undignified and something she has no control over. She shoots out of bed, skidding into the bathroom with barely enough time to kneel before the toilet.

It hurts, and the pain pisses Kirsten off. She does not deserve this, and she knows it. She mentally spits out a string of curse words.

Even before she has finished retching her guts out, Sandy has arrived to hold back her hair for her. And when she is done, he holds her close and rather than complaining about her breath smelling bad (which she was sure he would) he assures her that everything will be okay.

She silently prays that he is right.

x x x x x x x x x x

Julie starts feeling better around two o'clock, so she lugs her briefcase out and starts rifling through the folders within. She doesn't want to get drastically behind on her work; not only because it would fatally affect New Match, but because she doesn't want to disappoint Kirsten.

Thing is, Julie is still utterly clueless about matching people up for blind dates. She herself has never been on an actual blind date, so how to go about setting one up is foreign to her. After about half an hour of going through the folders, she is muttering complaints to herself, angry that she has gotten stuck with running a business by herself while she has a cold.

Then she immediately reprimands herself. It's not like she has it that bad; Kirsten is most certainly the worse off out of the two of them.

This thought forces her to continue working for the rest of the day, stopping only once for lunch. She works until almost nine, when everyone else is getting ready for bed and it's getting dark out and the moon is appearing, sending slivers of light through her bedroom window. She sets the folders aside and switches off her lamp.

She feels good, like she accomplished something today, and she falls asleep quickly and peacefully.


	6. Chapter 6

Taylor wrings her hands as she watches Henri-Michele set up his painting supplies in the hotel room. She doesn't know what else to do. She's tried being angry, begging, crying, threatening, and is now deciding whether or not to throw something at him. He's really being very dense; either that or just really stubborn. He knows she has a boyfriend (Taylor's only told him two hundred times), but he insists on staying in Newport.

At least she's convinced him to stay in a hotel instead of at Summer's house.

Henri-Michele is humming softly to himself, and Taylor glares at him as he sets a book next to the little digital clock on the nightstand. Suddenly she notices it's almost one o'clock. _Crap! _She's going to be late for lunch with Ryan! She yells "Sorry, gotta go!" to her ex-husband and dashes away. As she climbs into her car she calls Ryan's cell. No answer, so she leaves a message.

"Ryan, it's me. Sorry sorry sorry. I'll be there soon, I promise. Sorry. I'll explain when I get there. See you soon." She snaps her phone shut and tosses it onto the passenger seat before driving off to the mall.

Ryan's face lights up with relief when he sees her, and she realizes that he was worried she wouldn't come. She feels sorry for him; so many people that he's known have just up and left him that he thinks eventually everyone's going to leave. She makes a mental note to be on time from now on so he won't get freaked out.

After wandering around the mall for a bit, they decide they aren't really hungry and end up just getting Jamba Juice. As Taylor drinks her shake she watches Ryan; he seems to be holding up pretty well, and she doesn't want to make things worse by telling him about Henri-Michele. She decides to tell him later. It's best, really, because telling Ryan would ruin (or at least mar) his day and probably make it even more difficult for her to get rid of her ex-husband.

They sit on a bench and finish their drinks. Ryan asks if she's okay, because she's been weirdly quiet, but Taylor insists that she's fine. In order to distract him from her, she brings up the only subject she can think of at the moment.

"So how's Kirsten doing?"

_Way to make him feel better, Taylor_. She feels instantly guilty as his face darkens a bit, so she adds, "You know what, I changed my mind, let's not talk about that right now, it's kind of depressing. So...are you going that charity thing next week?"

"What charity thing?"

"Something about...actually I'm not sure what it's for. It's like, for the beavers or some animal like that. Supposedly because there's not that many left, but I think it's for the fur. Summer would know."

"Oh. I don't think we're going."

"Yeah, I'm not either. Other things to do, you know."

Ryan nods and mutters to himself, "Other things to do."

x x x x x x x x x x x x

Summer is draped over the couch, with a wet cloth placed over her forehead. _Fracking headaches._ She closes her eyes and is just starting to drift off to sleep when she hears someone come in the front door. Cracking one eye partially open, she sees Seth walk in and look around.

"Summer?"

"I'm right here, Cohen."

"Oh, hey, it's you." He walks over and tweaks her nose. "You okay?"

"Never been better."

"You know what you need, Summer?" _Oh God, is that his I-have-a-plan voice?_

He waits for her to answer but when she doesn't reply he triumphantly cries: "Food!" _Guess not. _

"What? Why?"

"Because I noticed you haven't been eating a lot lately and you've also been getting a lot of headaches, and then I got this idea." He plunks something down on the table. Summer sits up, surprised- somehow she'd missed that he was carrying something- and sees: a picnic basket. Seth grins and looks proud of himself. "I took something you need-food- and am combining it with something you love- the environment. Well, it's not exactly the environment, it's nature, but they're almost the same thing anyway. Come on."

Summer stares. "Now?"

He nods enthusiastically and grabs her arm to pull her up. Her arm looks and feels devastatingly thin in comparison, and Summer realizes that Seth knows. That he's probably known for awhile but didn't know what to do about it. And he couldn't come out and talk to her about it because it probably entail talking about his feelings, and if there's one thing Seth can't verbally express, it's feelings.

So this is his way of telling her that he knows.

Summer finds herself being led to her room, Seth chattering on about something-or-other-- she's not really listening-- and she thinks that maybe this isn't such a bad idea. Maybe Seth doesn't want her to be rail-thin. Maybe he liked her curves. After all, they had sex before she started this thing, and now she can't really remember the last time they slept together.

Still, the very idea of food makes her feel kind of ill, so maybe she'll just eat a little bit. She's making no promises, but she figures she'll give it a try.

She goes into her bathroom and changes her clothes in there (she's suddenly very ashamed of the way her bones stick out), then slips on shoes and takes Seth's hand and lets him lead her away.

x x x x x x x x x x x x

Julie stares at the dresses in her closet. She knows that the event is a whole week away, but she has to start getting ready now. Hell, she should've started getting ready at the beginning of the month, but she just got so distracted by everything...she shakes her head as if to clear those morbid thoughts away, then reaches out and fingers a dark blue silk dress. She pulls it off the rack and walks to her mirror, holding the sexy little number in front of her. _Maybe I should wear green instead? _Usually Kirsten tells her what looks good on her.

The idea hits her hard and fast. Her green eyes light up, and she grins and starts pulling dresses of her closet rack. Red, pink, ivory, blue, a green floor-length one, a few pairs of heels. It takes her two trips to lug everything out to the car, and as she's walking down her stairs she's thinking that she really should call first. Oh, but she's so excited!

When she pulls up to the Cohens' place, she immediately feels a difference in the atmosphere around it. Normally, the house exudes the youth and vitality of the people who reside within it. Now, that aura has been dimmed down a little.

She decides to see how Kirsten's doing first. Sandy's the one who answers the door, looking decidedly older than the last time she saw him. _Has he slept at all? _She brightens into a smile and quips "Hi!" He smiles wanly and welcomes her in.

"So, how are you guys holding up?" Her cheery tone of voice sounds forced even to her, but Sandy doesn't act like he notices. "We've been better." She sees right through that statement, but chooses to ignore it and says, "Can I go see her?" Sandy gives her an odd look, like _She's not dead, of course you can see her_, then nods and informs her that Kirsten's upstairs.

Climbing the stairs, the first thing Julie sees is Kirsten propped up against the wall. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

The blonde shrugs. "I was hungry so I was going downstairs to get food."

Julie helps her down the stairs, staring as they walk. Kirsten looks even more tired than Sandy, very pale, thinner than usual. No, not just thinner. Frailer. Even her hair isn't as shiny.

After a quick snack of water and yogurt ("Coffee makes me throw up."), Julie cautiously brings up the charity event.

"Oh yeah. I heard about that," says Kirsten, setting her spoon softly in the sink, her arm looking very white in the sunlight. And suddenly, Julie feels incredibly selfish for being so worried about her dress.

"You need help picking out what to wear?" Kirsten's voice sounds amused, and Julie looks up, blushing and surprised. _How did she know that? _Kirsten raises an eyebrow, and Julie nods. "Sorry, I just thought it might distract you from..."

"It's okay, Julie. And any distraction is good right now. Go get your stuff. I'll be upstairs."

At first Julie hesitates, then she dashes outside to bring in the clothes she brought.

Kirsten is sitting on her bed, leaning against the wall and waiting. Julie dumps the first load of stuff onto the bed then goes to get the shoes. When she comes back into the room, Kirsten is looking wistfully at the dresses but not touching them.

And Julie puts on a little fashion show for Kirsten. She changes into each of the dresses and heels, then walks out, striking funny poses that make Kirsten laugh gently. In the end, Kirsten tells her that the ivory dress is the most flattering on her. Julie carries the stuff back to her car, taking special care with the ivory one, then trots back upstairs where she finds Kirsten asleep. She sits on the bed next to the sleeping blonde and rests her head on Kirsten's bony shoulder. She falls asleep right next to her, and when Sandy comes upstairs later he finds both women slumbering peacefully on, smiling a little as they sleep.


End file.
